Only one near mishap occurred
in the three hours I was observing surgery, and that
was when I nearly tripped the freshly scrubbed surgeon.
Otherwise, I managed to stay out of the way, even
while I stood nearly on top of the anesthesiologist
to get a glimpse of the surgeries.
During the first cut, as the resident traced the drawn-on
line from one corner of the breast to the other with
a scalpel and exposed the yellow adipose tissue, did
I feel a lightness in the back of my head, a disbelief
that the resident was actually breaking the skin while
the patient silently slept. Even as I write this, I recall
that lightness and surreal feeling. But I bent my knees
slightly, took some deep breaths, and by the end of the
surgery, felt like I could watch anything without flinching.
I was surprised at the apparent crudeness of the surgery
plan made with a marker, but perhaps the surgeon saw
things that I didn't. I was surprised too at the use
of the cauterizing wand used to cut through the tissue,
not ever having considered the problems that bleeding
might pose for surgery. The unpleasant smell of the cauterized
tissue permeated the room. Later, a resident told me
that the smell of cauterized liver tissue is the worst.
I am glad that I did not see a liver surgery!
I wondered about the patient--a Caucasian woman approximately
65 years old--as she had her entire breast removed. How
did she feel? What was it like to have a drainage tube
still in her chest, where her breast used to be, when
she woke up? I overheard the doctors and nurses saying
that she did not want to have her breasts removed, and
at the last minute she decided against having both breasts
removed. She had been diagnosed with cancer almost a
decade ago, and despite drug therapy following a lumpectomy,
the cancer had returned.
The next patient was a female in her seventies, with
perfectly manicured peach nails. Her arms just would
not stay on the table, as if she were trying to escape,
a somnambulist.
She had a tumor removed, along with the scar from surgery
to remove a tumor one-month prior. There was no drain
put in her breast, so that if would fill with fluid and
perhaps resemble its former shape. What would I do if
I were she? Would I feel the tenderness after the surgery,
and wonder if they got all the cancer this time?
Laura Goodman, UBRPer, Dr. Iman Hakim's lab, Public Health
